Cognitive Dissonance
My December
Recently I have had the occasional, fleeting feeling that I am in My December.* I dismiss the feeling easily after giving it brief consideration and get back to focusing on feelings of well-being.
The other day, I glanced at the microwave to see what time it was, and the display read… END. (Creepy)
Bloodshot
But now that I’m telling you about it, I’ll admit it worries me a little bit. And in addition to that, I’ve got some notable symptoms going on: a low white blood cell count, a couple days of inexplicably, constantly bloodshot eyes and possibly some blood in urine and stool. Pretty scary, huh? No, not really. It’s minor. I have no pain and I feel pretty good.
I have an appointment with my oncologist in the morning. I really need to see my white blood cell count rebound. So I won’t bid you a Happy New Year just yet. I’ll post the outcome of my appointment before then.
My disposition has not changed. Another Spring is around the corner for me!
Come what may,
Ken
*I think “December” is a common metaphor for nearing the end. I mention this in case my intention wasn’t clear. Hey, I studied math and art. I know little of language and literature. (Hell, I know little of math or art too.) However, I am learning a bit about quantum physics, metaphysics, nutrition, compassion and Love.
Tina snapped a photo of me painting labels for the 2012 batch of Kill-u-a. Notice that I’ve had to resort to using reading glasses. At least it makes me feel like I’m getting to experience “old-age” a bit.
9 responses to “Cognitive Dissonance”
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A glioblastoma journey 
Praying for your health Ken……I am curious, what is Kill-U-A?
Kill-u-a is my home-brewed version of Kahlua. Back in college when I wasn’t drinking cheap bourbon or cheap beer, I liked the taste of a White Russian, but the cost of Kahlua was not in my budget so we learned how to make our own. Over the years I turned it into a tradition and hand-painted bottles. They were great to give as gifts. Back then, health was at the bottom of my list of priorities (it wasn’t even on the list). Now I don’t drink coffee, sugar or alcohol. I had a stockpile of nice coffee beans from past vacations. Plus, from my love of cooking, I had acquired a lot of fancy sugars, that I don’t eat anymore. Made sense to brew up another batch. I like painting the labels. I wish I had photographed every label I ever painted. They’re all unique. I don’t endorse anyone drink the stuff, but people still consume booze, sugar and coffee even if I don’t. This batch uses coffee from Zihuatanejo, Mexico, and Ecuador, Madagascar bourbon pure vanilla extract, a pinch of raw cocoa, caster sugar, muscovado sugar, dark brown and white sugar. The alcohol is 190 proof Everclear. “Aged” the traditional 6 days before bottling. If my situation improves, bootlegging Killua may become my livelihood. No, I’ll have to come up with a healthy drink, instead.
Killua is an awesome brew — I’ve had some before. Ken, I think the reading glasses make you look “wiser” but I am praying for your continued peace and comfort, friend!
Hmmm…I think I saw this same recipe being used during one of the episodes of ‘Moonshiners’ on the Discovery channel!
Are those bottles for sale?
– Mark
Thanks Ken for the response. I have a few other questions for you, if you do not mind….do you make the alcohol part yourself as well? Is the coffee organic? What is caster sugar made from?
Linzy, there are no redeeming qualities to this beverage even though the beans I used were organic. The alcohol is just purchased pure grain alcohol. None of those sugars are good for you. Caster is just super-fine. I only made this batch of Killua so I could use up ingredients that I avoid consuming now. I shouldn’t push it on my friends, but I guess my moral standards aren’t as high as I might portray them to be here.
Count me in for a bottle of Kill-u-a!
Hoping family gets first dibs on this evil brew. I don’t expect the family discount, just an advantage 😉 we love our other two bottles and would love to add to the collection, artwork is amazing. I love you!!
I’ll be thinking of you- I hope you’re feeling better soon and those white blood cell counts start matching!