The Next Journey
While packing I found money in my dolphin purse which we use to travel. I felt it was a gift from Ken and that he was taking care of me on my next journey. It was a nice way to start the trip.
1st day in Maui. Got 4 hours sleep after 17 hours of travel and drove in the dark up the windy & steep road to the Haleakala Crater which is 10,000 feet above sea level with Ken – this was important to me repeating the visit we made 10 years ago to see the most beautiful sunrise in the world.
Running on adrenaline, the trek felt both special and extremely sad. I don’t want this post to be too negative but in some respects I don’t think there is any way to get around it. Yes, I’m in Hawaii so I should be extremely happy, etc., etc. but I am surrounded by honeymooners, old couples still in love & happy families on vacation. I did force myself to take this excursion in the hopes that it would give me a sense of closure and to do something special with Ken’s ashes.
I snorkeled for 2 hours at Makena Landing (left water-safe bag & snorkel map at house and fin strap broke at snorkel site). Instead of getting frustrated with so many things going wrong I didn’t give up & found a dive shop where they fixed me up with a new strap & some ziploc bags to store my keys. When I finally got in the water I saw a baby octopus & turtle. This gave me extreme peace as I feel most at home in the water. When I got home to the Star Lookout, I watched my first sunset without Ken & saw a pack of 20 apex deer (I felt the wind envelop me & brush past my left side which gave me comfort, it was Ken telling me he was here & to not be sad). Afterwards I went for a long walk with a full moon & passed Oprah’s property, simply beautiful. She had a rock wall constructed along the path which reminded me of England. While this may seem like a lot to pack into one day, and it was, I had to keep moving because when I stopped the sadness seared through me revisiting the spots we went to 10 years ago. Shopping for groceries alone, cooking & eating alone. It doesn’t get any easier being in paradise. But in a way I hope that it’s healing. Being in the water was the most healing part floating. Hearing a gecko squeak in the house, cows mooing in the distance. I feel so close to heaven, the sky, to Ken.
On Sunday I ended up going the wrong way to Hana thanks to GPS, taking the treacherous route and having to navigate passing tourist buses, backing up on one-way roads and bridges, whew! Made it safely to beautiful Hamoa Bay House where Ken and I stayed 10 years ago.
I got up early to avoid the tour buses and hiked the 4 mile hike up 650 feet to the 400 foot Waimoku Falls on the Pipiwai Trail. I stumbled upon the most beautiful 80-year old banyan tree & decided to place some of Ken’s ashes there in the roots at the base, it felt right. I also scattered some ashes along the walkway in the enchanted Bamboo Forest. Mind you this was quite difficult as it was raining trying to navigate doing all of this while not getting caught by other people or park rangers.